To Love and To Lose
by Celtic Storm
Summary: Raoul and Christine are happily married...but dreams of the Paris Opera still haunt Christine in the night. PhantomChristine
1. Introduction

-1His kisses left a hot wet trail on her soft and creamy flesh. She responded primitively to her surprise, with low moans and heavy sighs as she gently nipped at the base of his neck with her teeth. He moved slowly inside of her, taking her to the very edge of pleasure, then pulling her back again in the most seductive tease.

"Erik," she hissed. "Please…please." And that was it. All she had to do was beg him, say his name, and control was hers. Her wish was his command. So he moved quicker within her as he crushed her lips with his own. He listened to her whimper in ecstasy between each kiss until finally, their final passions were released.

"Christine," he whispered as he buried his face in her hair. "Christine…"


	2. Devilish Dreams Angelic Reunions

-1Christine's eyes opened to a dark and silent room. She felt a pair of strong arms around her, and was almost convinced that when she turned, she would see him, Erik, sleeping soundly by her side. However, it was not Erik who lay beside her, but Raoul, her husband of a mere few months. She felt her heart sink in disappointment, then quickly scolded herself. She told herself that she loved Raoul, that these erotic dreams where simply tricks of an unsettled mind and that she couldn't possibly love a man whose heart was as distorted as his face.

But was Erik's heart really as dark as she claimed? Being raised in a sideshow until his early adolescence, then forced to live in the underground of and Opera House cannot be good for one's soul. Yet he managed still to love Christine with all of his heart, take her under his wing when her father passed away. He showed her a side of music she had never known before…the sensual and passionate side. Her heart reached out to him in his catacombs, and yes, no matter how she tried to deny it or resist it, her heart ached for him now. It was crying out for him, praying, begging for him to return to her.

This is what made her feel so ashamed. She was married…married to a man who never showed her anything but kindness and adoration. He never raised his voice or hand in anger, and he cared for her as any husband should. These dreams, these thoughts, they were the ultimate betrayal, only to be exceeded through sins of the flesh. However, Erik, like the phantom he proclaimed himself to be, had vanished. Christine was at least partially relieved at that.

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He watched her with a careful eye as she strolled down the street. She must have had another dream, he thought to himself. Erik knew his protégé. He knew from his years of watching over her that unsettling dreams drove her from her bed and compelled her to take a silent, moonlit stroll. And when she did, her angel was never too far behind. So, he slinked in the shadows with unbelievable stealth. There was no sound but her heels clicking on the cobblestone streets, until suddenly, he heard her begin to sing softly to herself.

_In sleep he sang to me_

_In dreams he came_

_That voice which calls to me_

_And speaks my name_

_And do I dream again _

_For now I find_

_The Phantom of the Opera is there_

_Inside my mind…_

So, her dream had been about him. After all of her resistance, after all she had put them through, she was now admitting, at least to herself, that he occupied her thoughts as much as she occupied his.

_Christine…._

She swore she heard her name, a soft and haunting melody, floating on the wind as she walked. But in a moment, she dismissed it, attributing it to a fabrication of the mind, and walked on.

_Wandering child so lost, so helpless_

_Yearning for my guidance…_

Now the sound came from ahead. And this time, Christine knew she was not imagining it. Yet for some reason, she did not stop walking. She pressed on and continued to sing.

_Angel of Music, guide and guardian_

_Grant to me your glory_

_Angel of Music hide no longer_

_Come to me strange angel…_

Then, lured by the voice she knew so well, she passed a dark alley. Suddenly, two arms cloaked in black reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into a passionate and urgent embrace.


	3. A Promise

All Christine could see in the whirlwind of kisses was the flash of a white mask in the lamp light. There was no doubt in her mind who this late night lover was. She knew it was Erik, and yet, she was not afraid, nor was she the slightest bit resistant. She found herself being turned and pressed against the wall, and she welcomed it with open arms. An eternity could have passed by with them enveloped in their embraces, and neither would have taken notice. But finally, Erik withdrew and took her face in his hands. Her eyes were brimming with tears and as one made its journey down her flushed cheek, he caught it with a single, gloved finger.

"You dream of me." He whispered.

"Yes."

"You're trembling."

"Yes," she said again. In a swift but smooth movement, his cloak was off, and he wrapped it about her shoulders, kissing her forehead.

"You love me." She was silent, but her eyes told him everything. "You loved me then and you love me now."

"Oh, Erik," she sobbed. He held her close to him and she nodded against his chest. He went silent for a moment. All of a sudden, he pushed away from her and paced to the other side of the alley.

"You loved me and yet you married…you married your precious viscount." He turned his back to her. "Why, Christine? Why?"

"I don't know." She whispered.

"If you loved me so much, how could you swear to love another?" She was silent for a moment, then she sighed. Her throat tightened with a muffled sob as she finally replied, "I don't know…I suppose I am a worthless coward." Erik's gaze softened as he crossed to her and again took her in his arms. She began to sob uncontrollably and he could see that she had not gone these last few months unpunished. She had been punishing herself, night and day, ever since their last meeting.

"I am so sorry…so truly sorry." She sobbed, her tears soaking his shirt. It did not please Erik to see Christine in such emotional anguish, even if she did bring it on herself. Her pain was his pain, and he wanted nothing more than to sooth it away.

"Shh," he whispered. "I forgive you."

"I don't deserve it." She said. He laughed at that.

"Oh, my darling Christine. You do…God help me you deserve that world. I need you Christine." She tried to protest but he silenced her. "Without you, I'm nothing." He bowed his head. "Nothing." Realizing she was not the only one tormented by their past, Christine leaned in to kiss him.

"You were never nothing. You were my Angel of Music. I think perhaps I loved you all along…I was just afraid to admit it…afraid to surrender to it."

"Afraid of me." He said.

"No…I was never afraid of you…but more of the power you had over me…the power you still have."

"All this power and I must share you with another." Christine was silent. "Do you love him? Your viscount?"

"The love I feel for him is only that of a dear friend. I know that now." She brought his face up to hers, taking in it both hands as she whispered, "I swear to you, Erik, you will never share my heart with anyone else…never." She kissed him, confirming to him that her promise was sincere. He smiled gently at her when they parted then said, "Here, I've something for you." Her face lit up at the thought of surprise…the most adorable and innocent look he had seen. Reaching into his cloak, Erik kept his eyes firmly on hers. Then he pulled out a red rose, like all of the others he had left when Christine pleased him. A black satin ribbon was tied about it, and tied in the center of the bow was a ring…the ring she had returned to him that tragic night in his underground labyrinth. She gasped at the sight of it. "Oh, Erik," she said, clasping her hand over her mouth in shock.

"I saved it in hopes you would return to me." He slid it on her finger. "And you have. Hide it from your husband if you wish, but never keep it far from you. Consider it my secret way of protecting you." She giggled.

"Taken up a belief in magic, have we?" He smiled with a light laugh and leaned into her ear. "A man in love is capable of all kinds of magic."

"Oh, really?" She said coyly, her voice dripping with desire. As if Erik could read her mind, he said, "Magic we will make next time we meet. Until then, you must return. Dawn will break soon and you'll be missed."

"When will we meet again?" She asked, her eyes filled with a new longing. He considered it for a moment.

"Midnight tomorrow night. Meet me in the woods on the outskirts of you manor. I will have a lantern…look for the light." He took her hand and kissed it. She nodded with a smile and turned to walk from the alley, but he grabbed her, pulling her into one last passionate kiss.


	4. Magic

Christine entered her home with a new spring in her step. She gasped with a start when she saw Raoul standing on the stair with is robe on. He looked tired.

"Good morning." She said as the house maid met her and took her cloak. "You look exhausted. Are you feeling alright?"

"Where have you been? I've been worried out of my mind." He said in a typical morning whisper.

"I had one of my dreams and decided to go for a walk." Her voice remained cheery, still ecstatic from her midnight rendez-vous. The guilt of what she was doing had not yet set in.

Raoul's face, which was stern at first, softened as he said, "You could have woken me." She flicked her hand in dismissal.

"Don't be silly. You were sleeping so soundly, I didn't have the heart." She walked up to him, planting a friendly kiss on his cheek. She started to walk away but he grabbed her waist and pulled her into a gentle hug.

"I love you." He said softly. Only then, when Christine knew she suddenly could not say the same did the hard blow of guilt strike her. Her heart began to pound, but she regained herself, pulled back from the embrace, and said, "You are so sweet." She stroked his cheek, then said, "I'm going up to change. I'll be down soon." With that, she hurried up the stairs. When she reached her room, she threw herself inside and locked the door behind her.

Then, she wept.

That night, Christine waited patiently for Raoul to fall asleep, then for midnight to come. When, finally, the clock struck twelve, it took Christine only moments to be out of the door and in a swift sprint to the forest. She ran with all she had, her skirts lifted well above her knees to allow for movement. She looked for Erik's light as she ran, and spotted it only a little to the right of her original path. Once she saw it, she stopped running. As she gasped for breath and felt the pain in her lungs from her long run, Erik came through the branches of the trees atop his great black steed. She looked up at him and smiled. He looked so regal, so majestic. He smiled down at her then dismounted, rushing toward her. He kissed her in greeting, then lifted her onto the horse. He mounted behind her, and felt a sudden urgency as he realized that her backside was settled right against him. He wrapped one arm seductively about her waist, and with the other, grabbed the reins and commanded the horse back into the woods.

"Where are we going?" She asked curiously.

"You'll see." He whispered in her ear. They were silent for most of the journey, each of their emotions aroused by different things. She concentrated solely on his arm wrapped so protectively around her. He concentrated on the fact her breasts her resting atop his arm and the curve of her that rested between his legs, which was now being affected by the turbulence of the ride. It thereby affected him…greatly. When she heard him release a low moan, on he hoped she hadn't heard, she understood her position of power, and subtly inched closer to him until her back was flush with his chest.

"Christine…" he whispered.

"Hmm?" Was her response. He knew she was exercising her power and was thoroughly enjoying it. He would let her revel in it for a time, for soon she would be tortured with pleasure.

"I want you." He growled in her ear. She smirked as she glanced back at him.

"Then I guess we should go faster." That was all she had to say. Erik found a clear path, and with a swift kick to his horse's flanks, charged further into the forest.

Finally, the came to a small cottage. Christine gasped with surprise. Erik dismounted first and as he helped her down from the saddle, she said, "Where did this come from? I don't remember seeing it before."

"That's simple. It's not on your estate." Christine hadn't realized they had traveled that far from the De Chagney house.

"Whose land is it then?" She inquired.

"Mine." Erik answered. "Madame Giry acquired the deed for me after the Opera House burned down. I couldn't stay there anymore."

"Why not?" Christine asked. Erik ran a hand through his hair and paced away from her.

"The man that I was…the monster…" She could tell he was struggling to find the words to say. "It haunted me. The things I did…Buquet…Piangi…the sound of the chandelier crashing and the people crushed beneath its weight." He shivered at the thought and Christine wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"You had nothing but pain in your life, Erik. It's a miracle you learned to give anything else. But you did…you learned to love."

"But it is so easy to love you, Christine. Everyone else…I have hated the world for so long."

"It showed no compassion. Neither did I."

Erik sighed.

"You have a good heart, Erik. Don't dwell in your past. It will cause you nothing but torment. Forget your old life and embrace your new one…with me."

Erik turned at her words and, taking her face in his hands, he kissed her.

"Come, let's go inside."

He led her into the dimly lit cottage and took her cloak as she looked around in wonderment. It was small, but it was perfect. There were candelabras everywhere. Erik's piano was against the left wall and was surrounded by books filled with music Erik had no doubt written himself. A fire crackled in the fire place on the right and a large bed, blanketed in red velvet and adorned with pillows was in the center of the wall farthest back.

"Oh, Erik," Christine gasped. "It's lovely."

"Welcome home, Christine."

"Home," she repeated. It felt wonderful to say, and it was true. She felt more at home in the few moments she had been there than she had in any other place she lived. Erik smiled when he saw she was pleased and took her hand.

"Come my angel. I believe I made a promise of magic that I am bound to keep." With that, he swept her off her feet and carried her to the bed.


	5. Beauty and the Beast

Erik placed her down at the foot of the bed and began to slowly pull the pins from her hair. Erik watched in splendor as each tendril fell loose. Once all of the pins were removed, Christine shook the last few pieces of hair free. Then, Erik began to work on her dress. He kissed her tenderly before turning her around so he could unfasten it. In a moment, it slipped to the floor.

Erik had noticed as they rode that Christine had not worn a corset. He could see her curves as he turned her back to face him, and gasped at the sight.

"Oh, Christine," he whispered. She looked down shyly. "Beautiful."

Suddenly, without warning, Christine reached up and tenderly peeled the mask off of his face. He flinched at the feeling of air on his cheek.

"So are you." Then, she kissed him, the part of his face few dared to even look at. Erik's throat tightened as he choked back his tears of sheer happiness. "Make love to me," she whispered. He nodded before taking her lips with his own. His hands roamed freely over her breasts to the small of her back, where he grabbed the hem of her undershirt. His eyes followed as he gently pulled the garment over her head, absorbing all he saw. This was the first woman to ever let him touch her in this way. He had never been intimate with anyone, and suddenly, a wave of nerves swept through him.

As if Christine could read his mind, she paused to look deeply into his eyes.

"It's alright, Erik…I know."

She, being a married woman, had of course shared a bed before, and though it hadn't occurred to her until that very moment, she realized the delicacy of Erik's current situation. She was more than understanding.

"Christine," he whispered. "I'm not sure…"

"Shhh.." she interrupted. "Just love me."

He nodded again, then knelt before her, kissing her right about the waistline of her slip. He lowered the slip to the floor, helping her maintain her balance as she tenderly stepped from it. When he stood again, he raised his arms so Christine could remove his shirt.

She ran her hands gently over his well sculpted arms and chest, which had been completely unaffected by the same plight as his face. Suddenly, he dipped her backward, letting her back hit the bed gently. She edged further back and he followed, resuming his place on top of her. Keeping his legs to the side, so as not to crush her beneath his weight, he took a moment to gaze into her eyes. Any fear he had vanished with the encouragement that came from seeing the love she had for him burning in their depths.

"I love you, Christine." He whispered.

"I love you, too, Erik." At that moment, the last remaining pieces of clothing were lost and he joined with her using unbelievable caution. Erik found that much came to him naturally. Christine had been right. All he had to do was love her. And soon, they both lay sated.

Erik pulled Christine close and she snuggled deep into his embrace until they seemed to fit together perfectly.

"Finally," Erik said as he kissed her hair. "Finally, God has blessed me."

Christine smiled.

"God already blessed you, Erik. He blessed you with your music."

He sighed. "Nothing compares to what you have given me tonight…nothing."

"You are happy, then?" She asked. He nodded.

"For the first time in my life." Christine yawned. Erik laughed. "You are tired. Sleep now."

"I don't want to sleep a moment of this away."

"We have the rest of our lives…now you must sleep."

She nodded. "Sing to me?" She pleaded.

Erik smiled, kissed the top of her head, and softly began to sing.

_Softly, deftly, music shall caress you_

_Hear it, feel it, secretly possess you_

_Open up you mind, let your fantasies unwind_

_In this darkness that you know you cannot fight_

Suddenly, Christine gently interrupted with her soft and sleep laden voice.

_Anywhere you go let me go too_

_Love me, that's all I ask of you._

She nodded off to a deep and peaceful sleep then, and Erik, still amazed by the night's events, sang once again.

_You alone can make my song take flight_

_Help me make the music of the night._

Erik watched Christine sleep, her bosom rising and falling with every breath, until finally, he himself slipped into a silent slumber.


End file.
